- 1. Perhaps my vision is going but there must be a sign on the bathroom door at my house that only my kids can read. It must say something like “Ohh.…I’m sooooo lonely in here.…please come in and ask me what I’m doing a coupla dozen times…”
- 2. My friends Rick and Susan just spent a week in Napa touring vineyard and drinking wine. Anne gave me that wistful “boy.…that would sure be nice.…” kinda thing. I said, “Tell you what, babe.…..I’ll grab a bottle of Mad Dog and we’ll head over to Napa Auto Parts for a quick tour. How’s that sound?” I don’t think she found that funny.
Scoreboard: Anne-1 Mike– Zero
- 3. Shortly after she was born, my older two kids started calling their new sister “Jo Jo” and it just seems to have stuck.
Jo Jo is 5 now but when she says her sister’s name “Lily” it comes out sounding like “Yahweh.” Ironically, Lily is pretty sure she’s the ruler of the world anyway…so it kind of fits.
Her brother Evan comes out sounding like “Nah Nah”.
And when she says her own name sometimes it sounds like “Daewoo”.
It troubles me that my daughter may grow up thinking we named her after a low budget Japanese auto import. .…but like my Uncle Ray always says “Your job is a parent is to raise your kids to go out and get a job so they can pay for therapy outta their own pocket”.
4. Here’s just one example of why women are way smarter than men:
I’m not afraid to do laundry. (Obviously it’s better than cleaning out the magazine rack.…)
I’m also not afraid to do it wrong. I’ve turned entire loads pink multiple times. I’ve shrunk undergarments. I’ve put dry-clean only things in the washing machine. I’ve failed to clean out the lint screen for so long that the dryer actually smokes when it runs.
My plan being that if I screw up doing the laundry enough times, Anne will say “You know, maybe you shouldn’t try to help out with the laundry anymore”. Of course, that hasn’t happened.
Instead I think what she’s saying to herself is “Everytime you do the laundry and screw it up, I get to buy more clothes.”
Scoreboard: Anne– 2 Mike– Zero
5. My son Evan is 10. He got invited to a birthday party sleep-over tonight.
Generally, I’m slightly opposed to sleep-overs at this age just because based on previous experience, the kid is just a total wreck the next day when he doesn’t get any sleep.
Better still, it turns out this slumber party is with boys AND girls.….what the? Is there some sort of hippie commune in South East Denver and no one told me?
Color me old fashioned but from what I can tell, Evan and his friends are right at that “hey, I know, let’s play doctor!” age.….so this seems like not such a good idea to me.
The final deal breaker?
Evan came to me this morning and said “Daddy, I need to bowwow all of your Marvin Gaye and Al Green CD’s for tonight…”
Nah. Don’t think so, kid. But nice try.
“If the spirit moves you/let me groove you”, in-DEED.
Welcome to Casey-ville. It’s a fun place to visit.
Trust me when I say you wouldn’t want to live there.