Never Trust A 5 Year Old With a Christmas Surprise

After 13 years of marriage, I’ve FINALLY convinced Anne that rather than spending a lot of money we really don’t have and giving each other a bunch of things we really don’t need, we should just get each other one gift this year.

Limit, 100 dollars.

With 3 little kids at home and plenty of family and friends to buy for, this just seemed like a fiscally responsible decision even if it doesn’t go far in winning me romance points or anything.

So yesterday, I gathered up my 5 year old daughter Jo, and headed out for an incredibly efficient Christmas voyage to buy the one thing that Anne said she wanted.

On the way to the store I said, “Now, Jo Jo, we’re going to buy a Christmas present for Mommy and we want it to be a surprise so this has gotta be our little secret, okay?  When we get home don’t say anything to Mommy and don’t say anything to Evan and Lily about what we bought, okay?”

She said, “Okay, Daddy.  I got it.”

I even got her to do the little thing where you zip your lips, lock ‘em up, and throw away the key.

So when we make it home after making our super-duper sly purchase, Anne said, “What did you do with Daddy today, Jo Jo?”

Jo said, “Well we went to Brian’s house to see him but he wasn’t there and then we got gas in your car and then we went to the cowboy store to buy you some cowboy boots…..and….oops…I wasn’t supposed to tell you that.”

And then realizing she had spilled the beans Jo Jo promptly started crying.

Anne of course is trying her best not to laugh but overcome by the realization of what a bone-head her husband is, she really can’t help herself.

And I guess Jo thought that Anne was laughing at HER so then she got mad and said,“Well, I not going to tell you what color they are, Mommy!  But I know your boots are black and you don’t! So there!”

And then she stomped away like an especially surly version of Cindy Loo Who.

Anne finds it hilarious that I figured I could swear a 5 year old to secrecy on the matter of a Christmas present.

I myself find it hilarious that I’m returning her boots tomorrow and using the cash to go out to dinner with my brother.

Ho. Ho. Friggin’ Ho.

One Comment

  • Aunt Buddy wrote:

    Michael, Michael, you never fail to make me laugh and this story is one of the best. Art Linkletter would have loved you and your family! You tell life stories so well! Hi to all. Love, Aunt buddy

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