Bumper Sticker Wisdom

One of the great things about the transition from the horse and buggy to the automobile is that it allowed for the introduction of the concept known as “the bumper sticker”.
Here are 10 bumper stickers that caught my eye recently and my thoughts on them:

  1. “My Karma Ran Over My Dogma”-  I like this one because it obviously took some thought.  “My Truckma Ran over my Catma” and “My SUV-ma ran over my wiffle ball bat-ma” just don’t have the same ring to ‘em, do they?
  2. “Isn’t a Smoking Area in a Restaurant Like Having a Peeing Area in a Swimming Pool”?-  funny…but….ewwww……and remind me not to accept an invitation to your pool anytime soon.
  3. “Auntie Em– Hate you.  Hate Kansas.  Taking the dog.  Love Dorothy.” – I’m not even sure what message this bumper sticker is trying to impart but strictly from a creative standpoint I give it a 10.
  4. “Don’t Blame Me…I voted for BLANK” – I never liked this one much….seems a little passive aggressive to me….and kind of contrary to the ‘United we Stand idea’.  Just to keep people guessing I’m currently working on a bumper sticker that says either “Don’t Blame Me– I Voted for Millard Fillmore” or “Blame Me– I Didn’t Bother to Vote”.
  5. “Eagles May Soar– But Weasels Don’t Get Sucked Into Jet Engines”- It’s funny…and it’s true….but isn’t putting this bumper sticker on your car an admission of weasel-dom?
  6. “Two Wrongs Don’t Make a Right– But 3 Rights Make a Left”-  I spent all morning thinking about this one and I’m still not sure if it’s actually true….but it made me think….so that’s something.
  7. “Eat Right, Exercise Daily, Live Clean, Die Anyway”- I’m always tempted to pull up next to a car with this bumper sticker and see who’s driving.  I imagine it to be a rather large middle aged man smoking a giant cigar and eating a triple cheeseburger at the same time.
  8. “Jesus is My Co-Pilot”- I like the sentiment but I wonder if Jesus is good with directions and if he offers to pay for gas once in a while.
  9. “My Cat/My Dog/My Goldfish/My Parakeet is Smarter Than Your Honor Student”-  I get the point but these ones are a little mean spirited, don’t you think?  Plus, can you guilt your pet into cleaning his room and will your pet someday foot the bill for putting you in a nursing home?  Didn’t think about that, did ya?
  10. “Eschew Obfuscation”-   okay…I admit it…I had to use the dictionary to figure out that this means “avoid confusion”.  If you’re gonna put this bumper sticker on your car you might as well get another one that says “Please steal my lunch money and kick sand in my face.”

 

That’s the tricky thing about bumper stickers.

Sometimes they say more about you than you might want.

 

2 Comments

  • Kathleen wrote:

    My favorite bumper sticker of all times:
    1st line: “Jesus loves you” (in large type)
    2nd line: “Everybody else thinks you’re an asshole” (in small type)

  • Knowledge is power — Power corrupts — Study hard — Be evil

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