(Newser) – Did you know that President Obama ruined Christmas? Well, Elf Peloosi, his wife Lichelle, and Mr. Snore all helped, too. Tea Partier David Hedrick may have lost his bid to be the GOP candidate for Washington’s 3rd District, but he’s on to the next possible career by way of his newly released book: The Liberal Clause: Socialism on a Sleigh, explains how Barry, the “Liberal Clause,” steals Christmas with his liberal agenda.
In it, Liberal Clause bankrupts the North Pole Treasury, borrows cash from the “Hineese,” eliminates toy specialists, and commits other atrocities—but is stopped when the elves unplug his teleprompter and wave copies of the Christmastution to shoo the Liberal Clause away. Dave Bow of the Portland Mercury chatted with Hedrick after buying the $20 book, and the author explained that he stumbled upon the idea while telling his kids bedtime stories—the dedication, to them, reads “Never forget that free goodies from liberal elves often come at a price.”
Mike’s Thoughts: Interesting development.
Look for these new Tea Party Dr. Seuss spin-offs coming to a book store near you:
1. “Horton Hatched The Egg, but the Socialist FDA Shut Him Down”
2. “I Had Trouble Getting to Solla Sollew, I’m Not Sure Who’s Fault it Is So I’ll Probably Blame You”
3. “The Lorax (aka God-damned Anti-Business Tree Hugger)”
4. “Barack Obama, Will You Please Go NOW!”
5. “One Fish, Two Fish…Go to Hell, I Hate You Because You’re Different From Me”